Pre Valentine's Day..

I'm writing on the day before the world celebrates Valentine's Day. haha.. how do I feel? kinda kancong, kinda happy, excited at the same time. but also worried, because dunno what to give to Faisal. ;x

For the past 19 years of my life, I'm finally celebrating Valentine's Day. the feeling's kinda weird, one's gotta do it.

I know that it's totally tough going out with a guy who's 2 years younger than me, and is still schooling. but he's going to end his period of ITE Clementi. After that, it will be their turn to decide on what they want to do in life. I know sooner or later, faisal is going to NS soon. I dread the moment when it comes. he pointed out that it's tough on both of us since we are both leading totally different lives, but it's going to be more rougher on me when he goes to NS.

What I love about him?

He's a very understanding guy. Very straight-forward and not afraid to tell others his opinions. A joker, but most important of all, he's more matured than other guys that I met. He's been through rough patches and not afraid to admit those.

you know, the most common and the heavy burden that we both face is this:

we just got together at the wrong time. and people tend to judge him based on his age. (even though he looked more older than what he really is.)

I admit, both of us agree that's its true, and we do face a lot of challenges in front of us. first of all, we rarely meet. we do try to talk once a week or he sms me to let me know he's thinking of me. I do the same.
we do go out, but I'm loaded with work nowadays so we don't have the chance to go out.


I always wonder what if I were to continue studying and continuing this relationship with Faisal. What would happen? will we change, in one way or another? what would we feel, or even think? last but more important, will our behaviour change?

What if our relationship is like Millie and Gary? Same school, more time to spend with each other? Is there any difference between theirs and ours?

We don't have the luxury of time, or more chances to meet each other. every meeting, every outing is treasured, coz we both know that it might be days or weeks before we get the chance to do so. you might be asking, how come we dun arrange to meet up at least once a week? our daily schedule or work just conflict, and the times where i just wanted to hang out with him is when he has his own activities or if not, my activities.

But one's thing for sure, I will be the same person as before, and I won't change unless i'm in different environment. But i'm starting to change. (just hang out with me and you will know..)
For that part, I leave my fate in GOD's Hands. I always believe that things happen for a reason. I won't know the reason now for sure, but the knowledge that I can depend on GOD makes me feel serene.

What would happen next? what would we do after 3 months had passed?





I really miss him. that's it.